


love; not wrong (brave)

by queerraccoon



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Confessions, Domestic Fluff, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Movie Night, One Shot, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 14:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13525803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerraccoon/pseuds/queerraccoon
Summary: Continuation of the couch scene in 2x18.After Lena loses Jack, she doesn't feel like she is deserving of anything, especially since people leave her in one way or another. Kara takes on the responsibility of making Lena feel better.





	love; not wrong (brave)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song with the same title by EDEN. Basically when I listened to this song I had such supercorp vibes I finally came out of my den to write a fic.
> 
> This is also unedited because it is currently 6am and I stayed up all night finishing this.

Emptiness. It enveloped her, consuming her from the inside like a parasite stripping her of everything she had. And Lena was tired of constantly fighting this internal battle when she always lost. And lost everything. She had lost Lionel, she had lost Lex, and now, she had lost Jack. It was her fault, obviously. Turns out the universe does, in fact, hate her and she doesn’t deserve anyone who loves her.

 

Her ruminations were interrupted by the opening of her office door, revealing a nervous Kara carrying some flowers. Her eyes were downcast as she gingerly approached the couch, setting the vase down before settling next to Lena.

 

“They’re beautiful.” The words left Lena’s mouth before she had any idea what she was going to say next. _Just like you_ , she thought as she glanced upwards to meet Kara’s eyes. Lena averted her eyes right after the thought entered her head. She didn’t deserve to think like this, especially when Kara was here to comfort her about Jack’s _death_.

 

Lena focused on the pounding in her chest as Kara perched herself on the edge of the couch, prompting her to speak. And despite the numbness in her mouth and the heaviness in her chest, she spoke. She spoke about how Lex was the only one who welcomed her into the Luthor household and after he went mad, Lillian had left Lena to deal with her turmoil on her own. She spoke about how her own mother had pulled away from her at the time of Lex’s arrest, leaving behind a cold, empty mould of a what was supposed to be a mother figure. Lena had learned how to depend on herself. She hadn’t known what it was like for someone to care for her, to love her.

 

Until she met Jack. There was something there, she couldn’t deny that. But in the time they had together, she didn’t feel those butterflies the magazines and movies raved about. It was more of a quiet comfort they shared together as they worked on their respective projects in each other’s presence. It was nice. To have someone who was there for her. To have someone who cared what she was feeling that day and who would bring her another black coffee even when she didn’t ask. Maybe that was love. Someone who brought you food unprompted after a long day. Lena’s mind briefly flashed back to the time Kara had brought her donuts after Lillian’s trial.

 

And then, of course, Lena had to be the one to kill Jack. The universe was mocking her, teasing her with the smallest glimpse of love before ripping it away from her.

 

“Well, you’re not going to lose me.” There was pity in Kara’s eyes as she met Lena’s tear-filled gaze.

 

“I think when I feel things again,” Lena said as her voice shook, “I’m going to be very very afraid of the person I might be.”

 

“You don’t have to be afraid.” Kara moved closer to Lena, wrapping an arm around her. “I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Lena shuddered at her words. They were soft-spoken but managed to fill her with a warmth she couldn’t describe.

 

“Promise?” Lena asked, her voice breaking.

 

She felt soft lips press again the side of her forehead and Lena barely managed to suppress the shudder that threatened to take over her body. Kara’s warmth seeped through the layers of clothing that separated them, and Lena couldn’t help but nuzzle into Kara’s side. To Lena, Kara was her everything. Her hero, her saviour, her rock.

 

“I will always be your friend.” Kara’s voice was now a whisper, mumbling against Lena’s temple. “And I will always protect you. I promise.”

 

At that, Lena glanced upwards, meeting Kara’s eyes. Her breath hitched when she realised how close their faces were together. The blue of Kara’s eyes were striking, almost hypnotising. Lena’s gaze continued to roam over Kara’s face, distracted by the sharp angles or her jawline, her chapped pink lips. She had just missed the way Kara’s lips parted slightly as her eyes wandered elsewhere. To be more specific, to the errant strand of hair that had escaped Kara’s updo. Adjusting herself slightly, Lena reached up to brush back her hair, letting her hand linger on the side of Kara’s face.

 

When Lena refocused on Kara’s face, something had changed. There was a darkness in Kara’s eyes that Lena hoped indicated what she thought it did. Lena was all too aware of how Kara’s arm had dropped from her shoulder to her hip, squeezing ever so slightly.

 

“Lena,” Kara whispered.

 

There were too many thoughts in Lena’s head. All of them completely inappropriate for this situation. Especially since Kara was here as a _friend_ trying to cheer her up.

 

Without waiting for Kara to complete her sentence, Lena threw her arms around Kara’s neck, burying her face in the space below her neck. In hindsight, this probably wasn’t the best idea, as she inhaled the stormy scent which only fuelled the fire inside her.

 

From her hips, Kara’s arms moved around Lena’s waist, holding her even closer to herself, both women almost fusing into one.

 

Kara spoke, breaking the comfortable silence they were in. “You should stay over at my place tonight.”

 

Lena’s heart stuttered.

 

“I mean, you’re not in any state to be alone and what kind of,” Kara paused. “Friend would I be if I left you to go back to your apartment alone? Of course, the choice is all yours, but I would feel more at ease if, you know, I knew you were safe, and someone was there with you so you didn’t have to-“

 

“Yes.”

 

“What?”

 

Lena pulled back to gauge Kara’s reaction. Her face was set in that ‘confused puppy’ sort of way. Eyes wide in surprise like she hadn’t expected Lena to accept so quickly.

 

“Yes, Kara, I’ll stay with you.”

 

“With me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“In my apartment?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“With me in it?”

 

Lena chuckled at her disbelief. “Well, are you planning to go somewhere else? And leave me all _alone_?”

 

“What? No! Of course not, Lena. I would never do that! You’re- you’re- “ Kara’s hands left Lena and were fiddling with the side of her glasses. Gently, Lena placed her hands over Kara’s, stilling her movements.

 

“Relax, Kara. I’m just teasing.” There was a small smirk on Lena’s face that threatened to burst into a wide grin. She only held back for Kara’s sake, not wanting her to be more embarrassed than she already was.

 

“Oh. Of- of course. Yeah.”

 

“Let’s go.”

 

Kara could only nod in response.

 

\---

 

“Are you hungry? I know it’s late, but knowing you, you’ve probably barely eaten anything all day. I can get us some delivery if you”

 

“Actually, Kara.” The instant Lena spoke, Kara froze, fridge door open and cell phone in the other hand. Her head whipped towards Lena, eyes comically wide.

 

“Hmm?” Kara let out an inquisitive tone.

 

“I’m thinking if I could just go to bed if you don’t mind? I’m not too hungry,” Lena mumbled, barely stifling a yawn.

 

“Oh. Yeah, of course. Especially with the day you’ve had, yeah. You can take my room, I can just crash on the couch.”

 

Lena followed Kara into her room, too tired to argue against her sleeping on the couch. She would be a hypocrite if she did since she tended to nap on her couch in her office. Kara’s room was exactly what she had imagined (not that she spent that much time imagining Kara Danvers' bedroom). It was covered in pastels and maybe _just_ too many pillows.

 

Kara pressed something soft into her hands and Lena stared at them in confusion, before realising they were clothes. She was vaguely aware of Kara gesturing in some direction that Lena walked towards before recognising it as the bathroom.

 

When Lena had finished getting changed, she turned to face her reflection in the mirror. She saw the person that haunted her on her worst nights. Gone was the Lena Luthor who could crumble men’s egos with a single stare. Instead, there were dark circles under her sunken, red-rimmed eyes, her mascara was smudged and somehow, she seemed paler than she usually was, which was a feat in itself. Tearing her eyes away from the mirror, she focused on washing up, eager to get away from herself.

 

Surprisingly, Kara was still waiting for her outside the bathroom. Or maybe she was just waiting for Lena to hurry up so she could use her own bathroom in her own apartment. A wave of guilt washed over Lena, and when she took a risk to glance at Kara’s face, there was no hint of the annoyance or anger she expected. Instead, her mouth was slightly agape, there was a faint pink blush over her cheeks, and her eyes were cast downwards, staring at her… legs. Her legs that were left exposed by the shorts Kara had offered her.

 

“Lena!” Kara gasped. “Sorry, I’ll just, uh, get out of your way. Do you need anything? Water? Coffee? Wait no, not coffee, why would you want coffee _now_? Nothing? Oh…kay, I’ll just be on the couch, which you already know. Just, um, give me a shout if you change your mind. The name’s Kara. You know that. Of course.”

 

“You know, Kara. For a journalist, you’re not that coherent.” And apparently, Lena didn’t have a filter when she was tired.

 

However, the snark was lost on Kara as she let out a bashful laugh, rubbing the back of her neck.

 

“Well I’ll, uh, leave you to it then.” Kara smiled. “Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight, Kara.”

 

Back in Kara’s bedroom, Lena felt that all too familiar wave of loneliness envelope her. She buried herself in one of Kara’s many pillows, inhaling the sweet flowery scent that had her transfixed every time Kara walked by or sat too close, and sobbed. She poured her heart out mourning Jack, mourning all she had lost, and mourned herself, and how pathetic she was. Lena clutched that pillow with her remaining energy and used it to muffle the sound of her sobs, not knowing that in the other room, Kara lay awake staring at the ceiling, listening to Lena’s sobs, heart breaking as she wished there was some way for her to ease Lena’s pain. Eventually, Lena tired herself out with her own crying and drifted into a dreamless sleep.

 

\---

 

Lena woke to a faint smell of pancakes wafting through the room. Her eyes blinked blearily, slowly getting used to the bright sunlight streaming in through the window. Why weren’t her curtains drawn? She rarely opened them, preferred to wake up to her alarm instead. As Lena became more aware of her surroundings, she noticed that there were a lot more colours than she was used to. It was only when she heard a soft knock at the door followed by Kara’s voice that she remembered where she was. She felt a small tingle in her stomach when her thoughts brought her back to the intimate moment they shared the previous night.

 

Lena cleared her voice before rearranging herself and the pillows to sit upright.

 

“Come in.”

 

Kara Danvers, ever the human embodiment of sunshine, poked her head into the room, flashing a wide grin at Lena before fully entering, carrying a tray stacked with way too many pancakes that Lena would have no hope finishing.

 

“Hey Lena,” Kara said in her perpetually upbeat voice. “Hope you’re feeling better after last night. I made you some pancakes and I thought we could just have a lazy morning and eat them in bed.”

 

Just the gesture of Kara bringing her something and knowing that she truly cared for her warmed her heart, and in that instant, Lena thought she could never be sad as long as she was around.

 

“You can cook?” Lena raised an eyebrow.

 

“Pssh. Of course!”

 

“So is that burning I smell or is it just my imagination?” Lena’s mouth quirked up into a smile at the speed Kara’s head whipped around.

 

“I’m just kidding, Kara.” She bumped Kara’s shoulder with her own, careful not to disrupt the teetering pancake tower. “I’m sure they’re delicious.”

 

And it turns out they weren’t too bad. They weren’t the best pancakes Lena had, but Kara was competing against the high-end chefs from New York that Lena hired from time to time. Despite this, Lena showered Kara with compliments, eating two pancakes instead of the one she would usually have, while Kara devoured the rest.

 

“What do you want to do today?” Kara asked, pancakes now gone. “And don’t say work. I want to take your mind off everything that’s happened recently.”

 

“Well in that case… why don’t we just stay here? Have one of our movie nights?”

 

Kara’s face lit up at that idea and nodded furiously.

 

“Do you want to choose the first movie?”

 

“I trust your judgement, Kara.”

 

With that, she eagerly began to browse through the selection on Netflix, finally settling on a documentary about penguins. Together, they settled on the couch to watch the documentary, with Lena hyper-aware of Kara’s proximity to her and the warmth of her leg pressing against hers. What was the average body temperature? Surely it wasn’t as high as the amount of heat radiating from Kara’s body. With (many) quick glances towards Kara, Lena confirmed that there was not a single bead of sweat on her face, and yet, Lena felt that she was drowning in her own sweat just from being near Kara. Or maybe that was due to other reasons she had yet to fully comprehend.

 

At the end of the documentary, Lena realised that she didn’t learn a single new fact about penguins themselves, but she did learn about the extent of Kara’s love for them. She remembered how bright her smile was, how she clapped her hands when they did something on screen. Lena contemplated how she could get in touch with the local zoo to buy one of their penguins.

 

They spent the rest of the day like that. Sitting on the couch so close together that it could almost be considered cuddling while Lena focused on Kara rather than the actual movie playing. The only breaks they took were to go the bathroom and to order food – delivered, not cooked.

 

\---

 

“What do you mean you’ve never seen a Disney movie?”

 

“Kara, you know my mother. Leader of CADMUS? Number one fan of Lex Luthor? Do you think she brought me out to watch Disney movies when I was a child? I was too busy learning the secrets of the trade and being a Luthor.”

 

“Don’t do that.” Kara’s expression had flipped like a switch from appalled to pity.

 

“Do what?”

 

“Put yourself down like that. I wanted this day to ourselves to make you feel better. You can’t just bring up stuff like that when I know how it makes you feel. Even if it’s a joke.” Kara took Lena’s hand in hers, running her thumb over the soft skin on the back of her hand.

 

That was enough to make Lena crumble beneath the walls she had put up.

 

“Okay. Okay, why don’t we watch your favourite Disney movie?”

 

“Lilo and Stitch?” And just like that, Kara was back to her sunny self.

 

“You say that like I know what it means.” Lena couldn’t help the snark in her dialogue.

 

Kara pointedly stared at her while she got up to play the movie. Once she got up, Lena missed the warmth from Kara’s hands on hers, but she didn’t need to yearn for it any longer as Kara sank into the couch and took Lena’s hand back into hers. She wondered if Kara knew how much this meant to her. Surely, she could tell how fast her heart rate was through her hand with how hard her heart was pumping. And as if on cue, Kara turned her head to meet Lena’s gaze and squeezed her hand. Lena could only smile in response. All thoughts completely gone and lacking courage to squeeze Kara’s hand back. Feeling vulnerable under Kara’s gaze, she turned back to the TV screen, actually determined to focus this time to see why this “Silo and Litch” was Kara’s favourite movie.

 

She tried her best, she really did. But how could she keep her focus when Kara kept inching even closer to Lena, her head resting on Lena’s shoulder so that her nostrils were assaulted with the floral shampoo that Kara used. It took every ounce of her willpower to not bury her nose into Kara’s soft curls and nuzzle into them. And on top of that, around halfway into the movie, Kara had decided to drop Lena’s hand in exchange for resting her hand on Lena’s thigh. The instant her hand made contact with her thigh, Lena’s leg jerked, causing Kara to sleepily look up from her spot on her shoulder.

 

It got worse when Kara started rubbing her hand against her leg. Lena clenched her hand into a fist, focusing on the way her nails bit into her palm rather than the location of Kara’s hand.

 

“Relax Lena,” Kara mumbled. “You’re so stiff.”

 

Lena forced out an awkward chuckled and did not follow Kara’s request, remaining as tense as ever.

 

Before long, the end credits started to roll on the screen. Lena let out a small sigh of relief hoping she could escape the situation she was in, before realising she had no clue what the movie was about. She would have to watch it again some other time when she was alone without any distractions.

 

Lena shifted to get up but realised that she couldn’t budge. Looking to her left, she noticed that Kara was asleep. She couldn’t just leave her here on the couch in her own apartment.

 

“Kara,” she whispered, gently shaking her shoulder.

 

After no response, she tried again, whispering a bit louder this time.

 

“Kara.”

 

Kara mumbled unintelligently.

 

“Come on, sweetie, let’s get you to bed.”

 

“Is the movie over?”

 

Lena could feel Kara’s breath puff against the side of her neck and she had to shut her eyes for just a moment to compose herself.

 

“Mmhm. Come on, I’ll help you get to your bed.” Or at least she could try. Kara was sturdily built, and Lena was fairly sure she couldn’t support her on her own.

 

Together, they stumbled their way towards Kara’s bed, Lena a little out of breath when they got there. As Lena was about to leave, Kara grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

 

“Stay,” she mumbled.

 

“I can’t. I’ve overstayed my welcome, I really should get back.”

 

“Please?” Kara turned her head so that Lena was hit with a dose of Kara’s puppy eyes. How could she say no?

 

“Okay. I’ll just set up the couch.” But the fingers around her wrist still didn’t relent.

 

Kara shook her head as she tugged Lena closer. “Here?”

 

“Oh.” Lena didn’t know what to do in a situation like this. How was she supposed to handle sleeping in the same bed with her best friend for whom she had more than friendly feelings for?

 

“With you?”

 

Kara nodded. She shuffled to the other side of the bed, releasing her grip on Lena as she did so.

 

Warily, she slipped in under the covers, staying firmly on her side of the bed while Kara crept closer, wrapping an arm around her waist and burying her face back into the crook of Lena’s neck. Still, Lena refused to move, lying still on her back.

 

A couple minute passed before Kara spoke again.

 

“Do you want to know why Lilo and Stitch is my favourite?”

 

Lena panicked slightly. She felt as though her knowledge of the movie was about to be tested. This might be the first test she ever failed.

 

“Sure,” Lena said, not really knowing why she did so.

 

“I strongly relate to one of the characters.”

 

Lena took a wild guess. “Lilo?”

 

She could feel Kara’s lips quirk up into a smile and she swore her heart skipped a beat.

 

“Stitch.”

 

Lena wracked her brain but couldn’t for the love of god remember who Stitch was. Luckily, Kara took her silence as a question.

 

“The alien.”

 

There was an _alien_ in the movie?

 

“Oh.” Lena didn’t really know what else to say.

 

“I’m Supergirl.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Oh?”

 

She _really_ needed to rewatch that movie.

 

“I guess everything makes a lot of sense now.” Lena could feel her brain ticking away, piecing together all her memories of both Kara and Supergirl. “Glasses and a ponytail don’t make much of a disguise. Saying you flew here on a bus didn’t help either.”

 

Lena felt Kara chuckle into her shoulder, and for the first time that night, she could feel herself relax into Kara’s touch.

 

“So you’re not mad at me? Even though I lied to you?”

 

“I’m sure you had your reasons to keep it from me.”

 

“It’s not because you’re a Luthor.”

 

“I know.”

 

Lena gave into one of her cravings and reached up to stroke Kara’s hair. She felt Kara’s lips vibrate against her skin as she hummed in response.

 

“I love you.”

 

Lena’s hand froze in Kara’s hair. Of course, Kara would be the type of person to just say that out of the blue. Did she know how much meaning those three words carried when spoken to her? How they would cling to her for the rest of her life? Her inner turmoil lasted for a few minutes before Lena decided to reply, certain that Kara must have fallen asleep by now.

 

“I love you too.”

 

\---

 

Again, Lena woke to an absurd amount of sunlight on her face, but when she opened her eyes, she was met with a pair of soft blue eyes regarding her rather than the harsh sun’s rays. Lena’s eyes flickered between Kara’s eyes and her plump lips, painfully aware of how close their faces were as well as the arm that was still draped around her and the fact that their bare legs were touching.

 

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Kara croaked in her husky just-woke-up voice.

 

Lena couldn’t stop herself as she reached up, cradling Kara’s cheek in her palm. She never thought she would ever wake up to a sight as beautiful as this. Next to a beautiful, strong woman who truly cared for her. Running her thumb over Kara’s lips, Lena realised she had to tell her otherwise she might explode.

 

“I have to tell you something,” Lena mumbled.

 

“You’re not Supergirl too, are you?”

 

Lena’s brows furrowed together for a second before remembering their conversation last night. So Kara wasn’t overcome by some sleep-induced haze when she confessed that.

 

“Oh, no. Not that. Something else.”

 

Kara smiled gently at Lena, softly encouraging her to continue.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I know. I heard you last night.”

 

Lena faltered before continuing.

 

“That’s not really what I meant. What I meant is,” Lena took a deep breath. “I’m _in_ love with you.”

 

Kara’s smile faltered. Lena felt that her hand on Kara’s face might be too invasive for the conversation they found themselves in. As she was about to remove it, Kara pressed her own hand on top of hers, not letting it budge.

 

Kara placed a gentle finger under Lena’s chin, forcing her to meet her eyes.

 

“You’re in love with me?”

 

“That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” Lena’s voice had maybe a bit more venom in it than what she had intended.

 

Kara was unfazed by Lena’s tone. “Like, romantically?”

 

Lena could only nod.

 

“Really?”

 

“Why do you keep asking?”

 

“Because I’m in love with you too.”

 

A beat passed between them. Lena could’ve sworn Kara was lying if it weren’t for the steady gaze she maintained and the fact that neither of them had moved away from the other.

 

“Why?” Despite all the time they spent together, Lena couldn’t fathom why someone would be in love with her.

 

“Well, where do I start? You’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re brave. You have such a big heart, you care for people so much, you tried to cure cancer – you even have your own children’s hospital! You are so inspiring, the way you constantly fight for the good of the world, no matter what people say or think of you. And despite everything you’ve been through, you emerge from it stronger and more determined to make the world a better place.”

 

Lena couldn’t stop the flow of tears down her face.

 

“I don’t deserve you.”

 

“Yes, you do. Lena Luthor, you deserve all that is good in the world. You deserve to be loved by someone who won’t leave you, and I will never leave. You are the strongest, bravest woman I know and screw anyone who says otherwise. You deserve this. You deserve love.”

 

“You are too good to me, Kara Danvers.”

 

“Kara Zor-El.”

 

“Kara Zor-El,” Lena repeated, voice now a whisper.

 

And without hesitation, she leaned in towards Kara to close the gap between them, their lips meeting. She felt those soft lips move against hers, reciprocating. It wasn’t the fireworks the movies raved on about, but it was better. It felt like home.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu at lxsbianlxna.tumblr.com


End file.
